Published Wednesday May 22nd, 2002


Hrm.. well then... Last 3 days... school like usual.. but, i have less and less patience for the place... I can definately feel that my mind knows that summer is comming, its shutting down completely... ugh... i just kind of sit here and whine... haha, exciting now? well then.. 16 days left... untill summer!wooohooo!.. quite exciting, really. I cant wait. Hrm... anyways... its dinner time, apperently.... ah.. hrm, well then... Yes, last 3 days nothing much happening... every day after school this week.. i've been quite tired and i've taken a nap all 3 days... my nap on monday was sooooooo nice... i didnt want it to end.. but.. it did.. ugh.... Hrm, this weekend i get 3 days away from school... yesss.... memorial weekend, or suck likes... my sisters get this friday and next monday off... thats not fair.. i'm gona see if i can get this arrangement for myself too... hmph! haha... anyways.. dinner time... not much more to say, so off i go... here is some stuff to entertain you:


Here are 2 things i thought were humoring that i have come accross...
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http://labs.redhat.com/blizzard/monkeys.txt
I LIKE MONKEYS

I like monkeys.

The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece.
I thought that
odd since they were normally a couple thousand each.
I decided not to
look a gift horse in the mouth. I bought 200. I like
monkeys.

I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let
one drive. His
name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of
them were really
bright. They kept punching themselves in their
genitals. I laughed.
Then they punched my genitals. I stopped laughing.

I herded them into my room. They didn't adapt very
well to their new
environment. They would screech, hurl themselves off
of the couch at
high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous
at first, the
spectacle lost its novelty halfway into its third
hour.

Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were
so inexpensive:
they all died. No apparent reason. They all just
sorta' dropped dead.
Kinda' like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five
hours later. Damn
cheap monkeys.

I didn't know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys
lying all over my
room, on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my
bookcase. It looked
like I had 200 throw rugs.

I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn't work.
It got stuck.
Then I had one dead, wet monkey and 199 dead, dry
monkeys.

I tried pretending that they were just stuffed
animals. That worked for
a while, that is until they began to decompose. It
started to smell real
bad.

I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in the toilet
and I didn't want
to call the plumber. I was embarrassed.

I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing
them. Unfortunately
there was only enough room for two monkeys at a time
so I had to change
them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food
in the freezer so
it didn't all go bad.

I tried burning them. Little did I know my bed was
flammable. I had to
extinguish the fire.

Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two
dead, frozen monkeys in
my freezer, and 197 dead, charred monkeys in a pile on
my bed. The odor
wasn't improving.

I became agitated at my inability to dispose of my
monkeys and to use the
bathroom. I severely beat one of my monkeys. I felt
better.

I tried throwing them way but the garbage man said
that the city wasn't
allowed to dispose of charred primates. I told him
that I had a wet
one. He couldn't take that one either. I didn't
bother asking about the
frozen ones.

I finally arrived at a solution. I gave them out as
Christmas gifts. My
friends didn't know quite what to say. They pretended
that they like
them but I could tell they were lying. Ingrates. So
I punched them in
the genitals.

I like monkeys

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KID ON MOON

ON JULY 20, 1969, AS COMMANDER OF THE APOLLO 11 LUNAR MODULE, NEIL
ARMSTRONG
WAS THE FIRST PERSON TO SET FOOT ON THE MOON.
HIS FIRST WORDS AFTER STEPPING ON THE MOON, "THAT'S ONE SMALL STEP FOR
MAN, ONE GIANT LEAP FOR MANKIND," WERE TELEVISED TO EARTH AND HEARD BY
MILLIONS.

BUT JUST BEFORE HE REENTERED THE LANDER, HE MADE THE ENIGMATIC REMARK;
"GOOD LUCK, MR. GORSKY." MANY PEOPLE AT NASA THOUGH IT WAS A CASUAL
REMARK
CONCERNING SOME RIVAL SOVIET COSMONAUT. HOWEVER, UPON CHECKING, THERE WAS
NO GORSKY IN EITHER THE RUSSIAN OR AMERICAN SPACE PROGRAMS.



OVER THE YEARS MANY PEOPLE QUESTIONED ARMSTRONG AS TO WHAT THE "GOOD
LUCK,
MR. GORSKY" STATEMENT MEANT, BUT ARMSTRONG ALWAYS JUST SMILED.



ON JULY 5, 1995, IN TAMPA BAY, FLORIDA, WHILE ANSWERING QUESTIONS
FOLLOWING A SPEECH, A REPORTER BROUGHT UP THE 26-YEAR-OLD QUESTION TO
ARMSTRONG. THIS TIME HE FINALLY RESPONDED. MR. GORSKY HAD DIED, SO NEIL
ARMSTRONG FELT HE COULD ANSWER THE QUESTION.



IN 1938 WHEN HE WAS A KID IN A SMALL MIDWEST TOWN, HE WAS PLAYING
BASEBALL
WITH A FRIEND IN THE BACKYARD. HIS FRIEND HIT THE BALL, WHICH LANDED IN
HIS
NEIGHBOR'S YARD BY THE BEDROOM WINDOWS. HIS NEIGHBORS WERE MR. AND MRS.
GORSKY. AS HE LEANED DOWN TO PICK UP THE BALL,YOUNG ARMSTRONG HEARD MRS.
GORSKY SHOUTING AT MR. GORSKY. "SEX! YOU WANT SEX?! YOU'LL GET SEX WHEN
THE
KID NEXT DOOR WALKS ON THE MOON!"


TRUE STORY