Published Monday June 3rd, 2002


Woaaaaah, its a bit late for a sunday everning when i have school the next day... Gaaah.. 2 hours ago i was just finishing up homework and getting ready to go to bed when i got way distracted with some X server stuff... andi got relaly into it.. and, now i basically rule my keyboard... haha, i found out how to map all the keys, mainly the special media type keys and such likes... whoooooo!!!!!! so cool. anyways.. yea... i got kinda tied up figuring out how and what to do to get it working and now its... 12 min past 0100.... crap? ya! id say so...

Hrm.. tomorrow.. will be a regular boring day... i have to do some power point presentation, where one of my group members will talk and ill just click to make the next slide apear.... i hate power point.. next power point im assigned i'll say its against my religion... yes, thats what ill say..
hrm... anyways i should go to bed.. here is some hummoring stuff i've goten from friends and places...

For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need
to
take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it
out
on someone you don't know.

I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had forgotten
to
make. I found the number, and dialed it. A man answered saying, "Hello?"

I politely said, "This is Bob Kenn, could I please speak with Robin
Carter?"

Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that
anyone
could be so rude.

I tracked down Robin's correct number, and called her. (I had transposed

the last two digits of her phone number).

After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
When
the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an asshole!" and hung
up.



I wrote his number down, with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it
in
my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a
really bad day, I'd call him. He'd answer and I'd yell, "You're an
asshole!"

It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole'
calling
would have to stop.

So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the
Telephone

Company. I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with the caller ID
program?"

He yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down.

I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!"

So, one day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking
spot.
Some guy in a black BMW cut me off, and pulled into the spot I had
patiently

waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for the
spot.
The idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window, so
I
wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his

number on speed dial), I thought I had better call the BMW asshole, too.
I
dialed and someone said, "Hello?"

I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"

"Yes it is."

"Can you tell me where I can see it?"

"Yes, I live at 1802 Moorpark Rd. It's a yellow house and the car's
parked
right out front."

"What's your name?" I asked.

"My name is Don Hansen," he said.

"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"

"I'm home every evening after five."

"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"

"Yes?"

"Don, you're an asshole!" Then I hung up, and added his number to my
speed
dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.

But after several months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it
used
to be. So, I came up with an idea: I called Asshole #1.

"Hello."
"You're an asshole!" (but I didn't hang up.)

"Are you still there?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said.

"Stop calling me," he screamed.

"Make me," I said.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"My name is Don Hansen."

"Yeah? Where do you live?"

"Asshole, I live at 1802 Moorpark Rd, a yellow house with my black
Beemer
our front."

He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start
saying
your prayers."

I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole." Then I called asshole
#2:

"Hello?" he said.

"Hello Asshole," I said.

He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."

"You'll what?" I said.

"I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.

I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right
now."
Then, I hung up, and immediately called the police saying that I lived
at
1802 Moorpark Rd, and I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.
Then, I called Channel 3 news about the gang war going down on Moorpark
Rd.
I quickly got into my car and headed over to Moorpark Rd. There, I saw
two
assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of 4 patrol cars, a

Sheriff's helicopter, and the Channel 3 news crew.

Now, I feel better.