The Wear and Tear.
Published Thursday August 19th, 2004

Based entirely from my observation of the 6 Americans with me at this moment, and from observations made in America, Americans are disrespectful, arrogant and hypocritical selfish people who love themselves and believe they are the greatest thing to have happened. I must add a disclaimer mentioning that this generalisation is not true in all cases. I know some people who would be an abnormality to said generalisation. But, continuing this rant on the basis of my generalisation.. The 6 with me are rude on the train, they're rude on the bus. They find it amusing to press the "Stop" button which requests that the driver stop so that one can get of. They put their shoes up onto the seats and are inconsiderate. They expect things to be the way that they are in America, and their capitalistic instincts prevail in their selfish acts. Let me add another disclaimer that at this current writing i am extremely irritated, annoyed, agitated, tired, stressed, and about to go insane because i have not been alone in over a week and I'm going to go insane and start yelling at people to make them disappear from my sights. *breaths* This is what does the most on my psyche. Being with the same people every waking moment does something to mental and emotional state in a negative way. I need time to myself; me-time with no interruptions (because, if i am interrupted i just become more agitated.) Time where i am the only one around and i don't see anyone else. If i don't get this me time i drop into a sort of really agitated, annoyed, irritated state where i just stop responding to people's presence and blatantly ignore people. Yeh.. I'm not a perfect person either.

When i was young i used to love trains obsessively, and now travelling around on trains here in Switzerland i can feel said obsession growing again. I like networking, digital networks, the Internet such types of networks. I like seeing and having things connect, interconnect; networking things. I like this in railways.. Tracks leading many places. Trains driving on a rail network dropping of and picking up various peoples, stopping in little train stations and large, very busy ones. This, and trains, are just plain awesome. I love standing near the edge of a rail track at a train station as a train rushes by, the rush of air as a train zooms by and the wind which persists all the way to the end of the passing-by train. I love the smell of train stations, the smell of railways and trains, the sort of oil/electrical smell i can only describe as a train station/train smell.

Standing on a railway station platform waiting for whatever connection one needs to take to get to the location one is trying to get to, for example: Standing on boarding platforms in a city called Burgdorf where the platform services tracks 2 and 3 one stands and waits. Every few minutes a train speeds by right in front of one who would be standing there. Coming from Zurich and speeding towards Bern on track 2 and from Bern speeding towards Zurich on track 3. Wind rushes by from one side, and then from another and these trains zoom by, not stopping. Once in a while, a train does stop, and as it pulls into the station its breaks squeal as the train and waggons' wheels decelerate, metal wheels on metal track.

I love being in large train stations. The diversity of people in large stations is interesting to observe. Many people in a rush to get to their connection; People saying goodbye to one another; Couples hugging and kissing goodbye before one of them departs. The hustle and bustle among the diversity and organised chaos unique to train stations, and other hubs of major transportation. I could take a lawn chair, set it down in the middle of a large train station and watch the people all day long.

Heh, well.. Now that i've ranted a bit, and that 2 or so hours have passed since i wrote the last paragraph, and now that i have dinner in my stomach (Marwin and i cooked peas, potatoes and fish sticks.) i shall review a bit of what has been going on..

Yesterday, or Saturday, we a pretty slow day. My patience was starting to run thin, and my nerves were starting to crack, but that was okay. My grandma and my cousin, Sabrina came over to our flat in the early morning. Sabrina and i talked about Street Parade and then the after-party Energy. Later, i went over to my grandparent's apartment where Sabrina, my grandpa and grandma where chatting. I joined them and we chatted for some time.

At 1306 Adam, Wes, Raymond and Tyson took the bus/train to a village called Weier. While they were doing that, Kate, Mike, Marwin and I quickly went and spent CHF 180 at Coop for our 4th shopping trip. We drove back to the apartments, dropped of the food, and then i drove us all over to Weier. We had to drive because Mike, Marwin and Kate did not yet have rail tickets, or had them, but they were not valid yet. When we got to the village of Weier, i told Tyson, Adam, Wes and Ray to take the bus to the top of a hill i pointed at. They did.. but never got off. They ended up down on the other side of the mountain/hill in a village called Hasle, at the train station where they bought more fireworks. (They have been setting off fireworks every evening.) I dropped off Mike, Kate and Marwin at the Cheese factory which was where we wanted to go. I then called a few times until i was able to reach Wes and find out where they were. Once i had found out, i drove to them, picked them up, and then drove them back to the Cheese factory. We didn't all go in one car because we didn't all fit in a 5 seat car.

We hung around the cheese factory for a while, had lunch, bought stuff in the local bakery, and then i drove Tyson, Mike, Raymond and Wes back down to the train station in the village of Weier. Then, i picked up Mike, Kate and Marwin, and we dove back home. When Adam, Wes, Tyson and Raymond returned, i went over to my grandparents and chatted with them a bit. I then went onto the Internet with my laptop briefly and uploaded 7 weblog entries to my website.

Raymond cooked dinner, and when i returned over to our flat, dinner was ready, and we ate. After dinner, everyone but me went to go light fireworks about a kilometre away from our apartment. I stayed in our flat and enjoyed some very brief me-time listening to music, whistling (which makes me happy) and putting syrup into bottles, adding water and in turn making us some drinks. Everyone returned and did their own things. As i was planing on going to bed, i heard a crack and then laughing from Raymond, Tyson and Adam's room. I went to go look what was going on as i was going to go brush my teeth. They immediately stopped laughing as i walked in. It smelt like fireworks, somewhat sulphuric. I got very agitated having mentioned various times to not set of the fireworks in the apartment, and in a very direct, tone i asked them to all give me their various lighters which they had bought. Silence. I asked again, this time with a slight hint of my irritation in my voice, even more direct, "Give me your lighters." And this time, they did. I hid the lighters underneath my bed's mattress inside the covering sheet. After this, it was complete silence. Everyone went to bed, and i went to brush my teeth, and then rejoined Wes in our room who was still listening to his music and sort of sleeping. I feel asleep quickly, my patience running thin..

I woke up Sunday morning to the banging and clatter of Marwin doing who knows what in the kitchen, Kate's irritating laugh and a general inconsiderate commotion at around 0745. A new day. Not quite enough sleep. Woken by clattering, banging, and commotion. A very bad mix for Marco. I got out of bed already very agitated and irritated. I didn't speak much to anyone at all except for "We leave at" and such-like. At 0855 we left for the bus stop, got on a train which took us to Burgdorf. There we waited for our connection to Olten, and from Olten we reached the city of Basel. In Basel there was some exhibition Marwin really wanted to see. (A reason why Marwin came in the first place, and to put up with everyones crap which they give him because Marwin isn't as cool as everyone else.) The exhibit was the Tutankhamen - The Golden Beyond - Treasures From The Valley Of The Kings. I was not terribly impressed by the exhibit which i paid CHF 28 for. It was rather short, and the exhibited items were not that fascinating. But, thats okay. Mike and I had fun pretending to be really interested in an exaggerated fashion, and i think Tyson, Kate and Raymond as well as Marwin were really amazed. I was somewhat disappointed, so was Marwin. But thats okay.

After we left the exhibit we looked for a place to eat. It was and still is Sunday today, so the city of Basel was pretty uneventful. We were in the banking district and.. well.. it was pretty deserted. We took a tram back to the train station. The Base train station is very nice. Above ground with this over-hanging lounge thing where one takes escalators down to the train tracks. We ate lunch there, buying various things from all the various stands in the train station. I had some salmon sandwich and a chocolate filled croissant. Both very good. Heh.

We finished eating, and we took a train back to Olten, from where we got another train back to Burgdorf. We had a bad connection coming back from Olten into Burgdorf and so we had 40 minutes to kill. Everyone but Marwin and I just sort of wandered off into the town without waiting for us. This irritated me further. I was already agitated by Raymond and Kate, various comments made, the treatment of Marwin by everyone, and the general inconsideration presented on the trains. I sat down at a cafe and drank a Rivella and ate a Mars candy bar. When everyone returned, i led them all to the track where our train would arrive 35 minutes or so later, and then i ditched everyone without saying anything. I walked into the old-town of Burgdorf where i turned up my music on my CD player, and had some peaceful, lonely me-time. (Lonely is positive here.) I was standing on this little bridge, looking at the rushing water below me, and at 1558 (I know the exact time because to my left was a church's clock tower clearly visible) this Indian girl, about 5 years, walked by with her mom. She looked back at me as she peered over the wooden-bridge's edge. I smiled at her and gave her a little 4-finger wave and she smiled back at me then walked away. This brightened my day a bit and gave me the will to return to the rest, or at least, to head back to the apartment. I got back to the departing train just a minute before it departed. I got into a different waggon then everyone else because, as i had hoped, they all already got onto the train and i was free to go where i pleased without anyone following me.


We eventually reached our flat, i took a shower, and then cooked fish sticks, peas and potatoes for dinner. After dinner i wrote much of this and then went over to my grandparents with Wes who checked his email and such. At around 1110 i left my grandparents apartment and returned to ours where i am now writing this..

I am somewhat amused to learn of who all reads my weblog entries. Brings about some new concerns but also provides me with means of blackmail against people i don't really need to blackmail.

Oh yes, before i forget to mention this: Today Wes smoked an assortment of weeds, then drank a bunch of hard liquor and got drunk at which point he proceeded with dirty intercourse with 3 transsexual men (which looked like women because he was so drunk and stoned), 1 goat, and 2 old women who happened to also be atheists. Oh- without a condom. Adam lit himself on fire playing with fireworks then got on a train to Amsterdam and was last seen in an opium parlour. Last i checked he was M.I.A. Wes told me today that he thinks there are many gorgeous men here in Europe. :P
Just kidding..

Or am i? Ha ha.. Heh, okay.. So I'm probably the only one who thought that was funny. For those who it concerns: Wes has been a good Boo Boo Bear, and Adam has been a good boy. Wes makes for a lovely, silent, peaceful room-mate and Adam does an excellent job cleaning up the kitchen and helped do everyones laundry.

So now, having a better understanding of my audience i should probably step lightly especially after my little rant at the beginning of this entry. Let's just say i was in a bad mood, tired, agitated, and so forth. I'm not going to erase it from this entry because i will not curtail my weblog for other people. My thoughts and my emotions and my life from my perspective is what i write here.

Here are some videos Wes took on his camera from him, Adam, Tyson Raymond and Marwin playing in fireworks.. I probably shouldn't have told them about fireworks..

2.0 MB XviD video

222.5 KB XviD video

5.3 MB XviD video
* Videos require the XviD codec. Get them from or search on google for the "K Lite Codec" package which includes the XviD codec binary.

Of and about the apartment..
For the most part, things here with all of us (as of this writing: 8, Wes, Adam, Raymond, Kate, Mike, Tyson, Marwin and myself) are going well. No knife-fight inducing conflicts. Alpha-male dominance is in check and we are all still alive. The flat is generally clean mostly due to my compulsive desire for cleanliness and our meals are quite edible. (Raymond and I are the chefs, thus things turn out well.) In the kitchen i occasionally see spills just left on the counters, not cleaned up, and the table at which we eat covered in crumbs or trash just laying around on it, and i see glasses just floating around on the ground.. All these things tend to grind on my nerves and irritate me.

Heh, i noticed today something which i've noticed many times before, but wrote down today. When I'm in a certain bad mood. Cranky, tired, agitated, irritated of annoyed, or a combination and i don't really wish to deal with the world, I see only a very select thing in front of me. My perception of the world is changed, and what i see in my eyes is darkened around the edges. A sort of vignetting occurs around the edge of my vision kind of like in the following poorly edited photo:

Just a kind of interesting observation with a little rant here, and a horrible visualisation of what i am talking about. I have a similar experience when I'm very busy, or stressed or am rushed. I suppose one could say that my visual comprehension is diminished, either intentionally because i don't want to see the world, or because I'm busy thinking about other things that i can't deal with the rest of what my eye sees and thus, in the end, i get this vignetting effect in my perceived vision.

Heh, so i query this: When dealing with social interactions as will be described, how should one act? You are standing and people walk by behind you. You clearly see them, and they clearly see you, but you look away and make no eye contact, or any sort of acknowledgement of their presence, in fact, you quickly look away to avoid any sort of eye contact. Does this imply a sort of disrespect to the other people? Does it suggest a sort of dislike? I personally do not enjoy eye contact and automatically never really look anyone in their eyes unless they are looking a completely different direction from my eyes, so i find myself in this somewhat uncomfortable situation frequently.. Yeh..

Heh, well.. Wes is trying to sleep, so i suppose i shall join him.. I intend to put cotton balls into my ears this night so that i do not wake up while the booming voice of Mike falls upon the early morning and so that the horrifying laugh of Kate does not raise hairs on my back while Marwin bangs on various things in the kitchen.
Posted by Havanna @ 17:29, August 19, 2004
Hey Marco, I can really feel with you... On my road trip with my friend I felt the reallu urgent need for Me time too... a lot.. ;) And I think the zooming out is just a guy thing: i've read about it! ;) Now I need to go read the rest of your blogs, have fun while I do that!