Published Monday September 27th, 2004

"Always keep in mind: What another speaks is from another's perspective."

A mixture or combination between trust, care, and companionship seem to be my weaknesses. I like being among people whom I can trust and be close and comfortable with while being close. Seemingly a "duh" statement. Compassion and sentimentality are deep emotions throughout my being. This is certainly true. I don't require any passionate or sexual relationship, I rarely find much appeal in such scenarios. I don't need a love defined by that love between a male and female who have a passionate relationship, nor a marriage. To me, marriage seems like a leash, or a loss of independence and self-determination that really does not appeal to me. Though, what I do require is a love defined by comfort, trust, compassion and far most, closeness. None of these on any sexual level, but on more of a level of.. something different.

I like a level of closeness among the people I care for and trust. In a relationship what i would seek is someone who I can trust and who I can hug, touch or cuddle with. I don't need kissing, or any sort of sexual interaction. These tend to bore me, even that which I have not experienced. Simply touching someone whom I trust, care for, and like is enough to send energies of compassion, comfort and love through my body like internal goosebumps tickling my consciousness. Being with such a one (or many) has a similar warming effect.

My weblog, or having a weblog a lot of people I have contact with read, is a strategic tool with a plethora of advantages! A random subject change, or subtle hints- two of many incorporated in this weblog. Why reveal this? Why not state the obvious!? Often carefully planned weblog entries designed throughout the course of a day, or days with specific target(s) and passive, subconscious, and conscious and passive goals are written by me. This is just another one of those entries.

I welcome you (and I rarely address my readers as "you") to imagine all the uses such a weblog has. Many people use their blogs to write a little of what they have been up to and leave their blogs at that. More people use their blogs to rant as well. Then, some use their blogs to leave specific commentary for someone(s) to read to portray an opinion, disagreement, hate or dislike, or a complaint, among many other permutations. Three tools a weblog can provide to its author, but most certainly no where near all of the possible tools. I often employ many entries to convey indirect opinions, or communications to a specific, or specific people. Those not intended to understand don't interpret these the same was as those meant to understand their meanings (or so is the intended plan/idea.)

This evening, I feel (or find?) it only appropriate to state these obviouses because (and this couldn't be more subtle, and that is sarcasm) I employ this entry once again to pass along various communications and insights to various targets.

Spending a lot of time with my cousins lately (and this should be obvious because I gladly joined them on their vacation to southern France near Montpelier,) has made me realise how special these times are. Throughout my life I may not have seen my cousins a lot, but when I did, I saw a lot of them. The memories I retain among them today I will recall in the future, throughout my life. I still recall, and often recall many memories from the last time I joined Jakobs (relatives family last name) on their vacation four years ago.

I feel as though I should have, and I wish I had spent a lot more time with Anna while she was with my family during the past year. A regret which I felt even when we both where still in California. But alas, regrets are as thus, and best to make nothing more of the past regret-ables, and instead correct the future..

Well, I've completed my propagandistic spiel and most communications have been written (the irony in my sharing.. communications within communications? How subtle this parenthesis.)

The village in which we reside consists of 6,000 residents which are here year-round. At high point in the season, 100,000 tourists invade this town with structures build after the theme of "futuristic." A town build nearly entirely to make monetary profits; money and wealth by providing coastal vacations to tourists. I find this uniquely human and extremely interesting. Something I could ramble and ponder about for pages and pages. (I'm writing into a notebook because I do not have a computer with me.) However, I will fore go.

After eating breakfast I joined my aunt Rita, cousins Ursula and Anna as we left our respective apartments at 09.00. (I had to get up at 08.30 to a (few) poke(s) from Ursula!) We walked to the harbour where we boarded a ship which took us to another port village, Le Grau du Roi I think it was. We entered the harbour of this village where we were shown the marina. Here, a small, very small apartment on the marina cost between 2 and 6 million Euro's.. and I wondered to myself if there were really so many rich people in the world that each, or most of the marina apartments could be sold.. And there where hundreds of apartments, each no larger than a typical hotel room.. I was startled and given a new slightly altered perspective of the world. 2,000,000 to 6,000,000 Euro's, that many apartments.. in this one small village. Holy crap! Baffling!

After we left this town/marina we travelled through a canal to another town. Most of the town was completely inside city-walls of a fort/castle, with very little on the outside. I found this to redefine, in a more enlightened and visual way of what a city-state inside a city-wall might have looked (and been!) like many, many years in the past.. Not just a few buildings inside the walls, but the walls stretched about a kilometre in each direction.. At least 5 blocks could be walked in any direction from a corner of the town.. It was awesome, and something I had never seen/experienced before!

We ate lunch inside the walls at a creperie where we had crepes. I had salmon, salad and.. caviar on mine. Caviar removed, and it was yummy. For desert we had ice cream.. Many assorted flavours. An interesting flavour I loved (because I am obsessed) was lavender (my pick!) It was yet another new (and odd) experience to taste lavender! It was great!

After we finished with lunch, we browsed the various stores. I found lavender syrup.. So I bought it (100g) for 4.50 Euro's and decided (again) that when I returned to the U.S.A., that I would plant and grown lavender myself, because I love the stuff and am obsessed!

We returned to our boat at 15.00, 3 hours after getting off the boat and travelled for two hours back to La Grande Motte. Ursula, Anna, and I browsed some of the stores near the harbour, and then returned to our apartment. Soon we had dinner, and afterwards I started writing this entry.

At this point, some good three hours after starting this entry, I come to a close so that I may go to sleep.