Published Wednesday March 2nd, 2005

An entry.

This is my first entry on the new luethy.net server/machine/computer.

It begins like so:
Sunday. It came and it passed. I worked in my garden all day long along side my sister and her garden. Monday. My body hurt a lot from all the physical movement the day before. Other than that, not much went on. Finally migrated luethy.net from old server to new server. Tuesday. Just ended. Not terribly exciting. Was marvelled by the popularity of MySpace (my myspace). Apparently 1 out of every 3 students who attend Brooks have a myspace account. I decided to jump onto the bandwagon as well. Watched "I *heart* hucklbees" with Jesse and Chelsea and Chelsea's abode in the evening.

And so has my time passed thus far on this week of no classes. The pre-week assignment that I should be doing ever looming over me as I have yet to even begin them. Procrastination is so lovely, I just wish there was not so much anxiety involved.

I got a letter from my bank. A main sentence read like so, "A Visa merchant has had a security compromise and your Check Card number is among those stolen." Fun. My question is.. Why don't these merchants delete card numbers they no longer require?

I bought some google stock.

Three sites one should never visit (that means, don't click on the link): site 1, site 2, site 3.


I feel.. void.

Stressed, bored, empty, nauseated, lame, unchanged, uninteresting, looming, tired, confined, prolonged, stretched out, dull, terminal, I watered the plants in my room yesterday. Lonely, desire, shame, regret, detached, lost.

It's a long long way from here to there.

It makes going to class difficult. At the same time, enjoyable. You know. The norm. Torture. Nothing new. Unchanged. Looming. Empty. Stress.

Free time. Free thoughts. Too much time. Too much thinking, or so it seems.

Hate. Disgust. Regret.

The past is fixed. The future is not.

My mind is fixed. I am one thing. I avoid its mention. I avoid its verbalisation. Why? To avoid inflicting pain on another.

Balance.

Unbalanced.

Strategy.

Life?

"I don't know."

Apache directive error needs to be fixed.

Random. Unrelated. Relation. Pluralisation. Irrational.

Words.

Content void of clear meaning: this entry.

I've read stories in the past about people, heroes, who fulfil tasks, or battle in battles for fame. Legends. To be known and remembered. I used to question this. "Why? Who cares?," I'd ask myself. I find now that I find there is some desire in me for fame. To be known... and to be remembered. Acknowledgement. Interest. Applause... for me from my creations. Respect. Recognition. To be heard. Listen to me. No.. Not those who do. New recognitions. New listeners. New appreciation. Change. New. Different. Variable. Interesting!

Old desires haunt me. Have haunted me in the past. How to purge?

Contact.

Random.

I close my eyes and I am dizzy.

Another month begings . . . time is passing.

I desire answers . . . to questions I have yet to ask.

I question . . . what has yet to be answered.

Time passes . . . the months seem unchanged.

I feel . . . bleh.

I am plagued by basic human emotions.

Relieve me.