Observing The Butterfly
Published Thursday March 15th, 2007 from Camarillo, CA. Listening to the chatter, murmers, and hushed voices of "fellow" "students", feeling human.

From the Moorpark College Library computer lab, I write this entry as I wait for my deathly boring English class to begin.


I find that I rather enjoy those awkward gaps of time that find themselves between the things we have to do in our daily schedules. It's more than likely that the value of these moments are entirely overlooked as we go through our routines. I almost wish I had more of those moments of times between my schedules tasks. It's a good time to simply sit down and observe the world around, slow down, and think for a change. Sure, throughout our daily lives we're constantly in thought and contemplation, but not in the same way that's possible during buffers of time where we've got nothing to do other than wait for the next thing to begin.

Though finding the perfect length for such a buffer is rather difficult. If the buffer is too large, waiting is rather boring. If the buffer is too small, there isn't enough time to get deep into thought. Waiting for a train or a bus is likely to be just the perfect amount of time. Often times I find that it would be nice to have some time while waiting for my train where I could simply ponder and observe what's around me. Particularly after work, it would be nice to wind down and loosen my thoughts from technical jargon and surround myself with something more simple and perhaps existential. It would be nice to see electricity arc between the trains power-connection-arm and the overhead power cables and ponder it's meaning and value.

It's amazing how it's possible to lose all sense of time and it's passing when sitting idly, observing and lost in thought. I like how comfortable I feel when I find myself in that scenario. Ideas pop into my head and I think ah yes, that's fantastic! But.. What if this and this instead of that? Soon I find myself editing and revising thoughts I had just created which spawn further and further thoughts, and ultimately I feel enlightened. Perhaps that sense of enlightenment is what provides for the feeling of comfort. Perhaps the neuron that miss-fired and gave me the impression that I had been enlightened consequently also told my mind that I was comfortable.

During an off-chance that I might dream and when I day dream, I find myself constantly going back and making changes to what I've dreamt. I've heard that it's a sign of a good writer when one goes back and makes revisions to their own dreams. On the contrary I think it's almost inevitable that we might go back and revise what we've dreamt as it is so simple to do in ones mind. The act itself is almost like reading one of those books where you are able to choose your own outcome by flipping to various pages per the options provided after each passage by the book. In my mind I can dream something and see its outcome, go back and make a revision and then observe the new outcome. One single dream-story might become two completely different tales. Unfortunately for me, by the time I'm ready to write own down, it has slipped my mind. 

Had I been alive in the 60ties, I would have been a hippie. 


Blah. Gotta go to class. 

Posted by The fatty @ 16:12, March 17, 2007
Yes, you would have been. *sigh*