The Reality is That Reality is Real
Published Wednesday May 16th, 2007 from Camarillo, CA. Listening to Shpongle, feeling tired.

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Lot C, LAX.

It has been quite a while since I wrote an entry that had more than three sentences in its content. I guess I have not had a whole lot to say. That is generally still true as I write right now but that is besides the point. Could not tell you what the point was/is.

I am so frequently dissatisfied with reality. I desire the ability to create fantasy worlds via artwork or computer animations. I imagine these worlds both on grand scales as well as down to minor details in my mind and I repeatedly find myself depressed that they are not real. I find myself disappointed that I am simply stuck in reality. I ponder over creating my fantasy worlds via art, but I am no good at drawing. I think about expressing what I feel in my fantasy worlds, describing what they are like. No matter what outlet I might choose, I am always faced with the reality that my worlds are not real. I am stuck in reality, perhaps like everyone else. Why is reality so real? Can it not be different?

I have a habit of negating myself. I have noticed I am not often receptive to advice. I just removed all the contractions in this entry because they were bothering me. I was rather productive today at work. I think I am riding the beginning of a motivation wave. When will it break? I do not know. Shortly, no doubt.

My Mom is going to Switzerland tomorrow for two-ish weeks. I am going to Switzerland sometime in July-August. I am taking my sister Andrea to go explore London before we return back to the States. No absolute dates yet.

Ever have that problem where you can not decide what music to listen to? I have said problem right now. iTunes shuffle is not as random as I wish it were. iTunes has this problem of shuffling in the same order. Play song A and next song is song X. Play song A and next song will be, again, song X. That is not very shufflie-like. Winamp does the same thing. So does XMMS. Is it really that difficult to randomly pick the next track after a track has ended? If you take a look at the iTunes database, each track has its own ID. random(0, total_tracks); anyone? Lame.

I am rambling. I have reached the end of this entry. It is unfortunate it lacks any sort of value. Sigh. Something meaningful needs to happen.

Posted by niela @ 22:53, May 17, 2007
aww I wanna come to London with you guys..

Posted by Brian @ 01:45, May 20, 2007
You might find this interesting, though it's rather drawn out (skip through to the end):,239029154,339274094,00.htm I'm a bit disappointed, however, about how the article didn't mention the difference between a truly random number generator and a random number generator with uniform distribution. iTunes apparently has the former, which is the MOST random you can get. But, the human brain loves to find correlations, so that'll always be the first thing you'll notice. Or, rather, the simple solution - it's just time for new music.