Would my secrets surprise you?
Published Monday May 28th, 2007 from Camarillo, CA. Listening to Lily Allen, feeling contemplative, lonely, silent, uncomfortable, tired, exhausted, irritated with society, happy, content, satisfied, dissatisifed, and indecisive.

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My feet at a data centre in Agoura.

Is it not amazing how music can set a mood? I am struck at how thoroughly music can alter our state. Our ears interpret the waves of music and convert them to signals which are sent to our brain which allows us to "hear" but then once we hear the music, our brains go on and interpret what we hear, changing chemical balances in our minds in turn effecting our moods and emotional states. It is so staggering how our society so often overlooks how easily our minds are subjected to chemical alteration. If music can change the amount, the balance, the flow of chemicals and proteins in our minds, think of all the other things which can do the same.

We introduce substances that change the quantities of chemicals in our bodies every day. Many pharmaceutical drugs release chemicals into the body which attach themselves to serotonin receptors to treat depression. We take ibuprofen to relax tensed muscles in our heads and to allow blood to flow better in order to relieve pain like headaches. Our society drugs itself daily with caffeine, anti depressants, various other prescription drugs, various vitamins separately marketed towards men and women, to name a few, yet many governments wage pointless wars on "drugs" investing countless wasted tax dollars. Any substance in great quantity is deadly, even water. It is so absolutely incredible how absolutely ignorant so very many people are. I pity them all.
 

This evening, prior to returning home, I found myself in Moorpark playing pool with some friends and acquaintances. -- I am not quite sure how to introduce this topic -- I wonder how the female gender views the male gender when they are feeling promiscuous. I have always found that males seem to lack any elegance in their observations of the opposite sex. Always embarrassingly blunt, direct, and usually rather crude. "Wow, check out her ass!", "Dude, she's got huge tits! Man I'd fuck her all night.", "Too bad she looks underage, she's sooo damn hot!", "Did you see that? Wait till she bends over again.", "Damn she's got a fine rack."

I cannot quite relate. Certainly those parts of the female body are attractive, and yes they are also certainly a turn-on, but I find it somehow odd to be simply fascinated by ass or breasts. I do not know what I am trying to say. I suppose I am just more interested in peoples faces.
 

I am losing steam in the writing of this entry as I grow exponentially more tired. Bed time, perhaps.
 

There are many things I wish I could discuss and write about but society will not let me. I hate the confines of society. Society is too ridiculous. I can not take it.

Posted by Chris @ 23:07, May 28, 2007
I don't often think about it, but society is rather censoring. I feel sometimes like I only live in a free world because what should be free and what "cannot always" be free are being defined for me.
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