sine qua non
Published Sunday May 18th, 2008 from Camarillo, CA. Listening to the hum of a fan, feeling average.

you asked me to be honest with you
and i told you i was.
you told me not to keep anything from you
and i won't:

you said to me,
"don't lose hope or sight with your life —
it sometimes takes its own (time)."
perhaps you are right
but i am skeptical.

we see each other rarely and
i wonder how you deal
with the time in between.
the days after feel
like an emotional hangover
until i can once again
bury my heart in the clutter
that surrounds me.

you said,
"i'll see you again in the future"
and indeed we will likely find
that our paths intersect
somewhere down Time's road.

you told me you loved me
and i didn't have a reply
anything i could have said
would have turned a moment of joy and heartache
into nothing more than a disappointment.

what hurts me most is that
i've given up hope.

you break my heart
every time we meet.
not by any cruelty
but because i know
we will never be

you are an enchantress, a sine qua non
and i was under your spell